it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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