i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
