they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
