I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
