i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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