Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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