I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Randomize
