Rock
Scissors
Fuck
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
