I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
