remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Randomize
