are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
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