I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
