If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
