so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
