i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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