some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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