Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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