My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
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