O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Sorry about my life...
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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