Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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