Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Randomize
