yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
