Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
