she is the kim kardashian of front butts
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
