The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
