that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
