my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
i've created a new STD.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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