Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I just gift wrapped bread.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
