if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
