im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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