so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
