Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
