If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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