I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
