And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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