He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Randomize
