My hand turned me down
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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