I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
