My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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