I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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