We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
