well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
