laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
