normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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