thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
The power of my boobs compel you
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
