You made me cry and you don't even care
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
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