1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
another moral hangover. fuck.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Randomize
