Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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