OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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