hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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