Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Houston, we have a squirter
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
