Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
